Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Wednesday Factoid: Loving Easily

Today's Wednesday Factoid is: Do you love easily?

I am not sure how to answer this meaningfully. Obviously I'm not discussing romantic love here when I talk about loving people, but love is so context-dependent for me.

I can fall in love with someone or something very easily/quickly if they say or do something beautiful or seem to have an attitude I am impressed by. I can like someone or something objectively without having, like, an "attraction" to it/them (like, I can see that something is good without considering myself a fan of it/them), but it takes a little something more for me to really fall in love. But it still happens kinda frequently.

I go from the default understanding that people are good and genuine, so it's easy to see someone's value and love them for it. But I don't know if "love easily" really describes that. People have my respect and trust by default unless they open with one of my established red flags, but that doesn't necessarily make me love them.

My list of the 21 Things that make me likely to love a person:

  1. Is honest
  2. Is not manipulative
  3. Shares interests with me
  4. Is reasonably selfless
  5. Loves themself
  6. Is capable of sustained conversation
  7. Plays an instrument or sings
  8. Interested in my writing
  9. Has creative talents
  10. Produces more than consumes
  11. Is wise
  12. Is not brainwashed or beholden to problematic belief systems
  13. Does not think my sexual orientation is a barrier that limits closeness or must be "overcome"
  14. Thinks I'm interesting without putting me on a pedestal
  15. Shares social/political/environmental values with me and demonstrates that care
  16. Is not secretive
  17. Does not try to change me (unless I have asked for help to change)
  18. Is polite where appropriate
  19. Is childlike
  20. Is not too needy/clingy
  21. Is recognizably special to me early on--there's a spark/recognition of kindred spirits

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